#16 – Bahamian Packing

When a Bahamian is coming back to the Bahamas from a vacation or from schooling, most of the time there is a well rehearsed routine of packing. It’s a routine passed down from one generation to the next. It is faster and more efficient to learn the technique from an elder than try to develop your own.

A general technique involves:

1. Throw some clothes on the bed you want to take with you
2. Collect those gift items and other items your family has asked you to bring back
3. Find a set of suitcases
4. Determine which two suitcases are the largest
5. Find carry-on bags
6. Determine which two bags are the largest
7. Open largest suitcase on floor
8. Place items such as shoes and heavy jeans on the bottom of the suitcase
9. Fill suitcase to a universal acceptable level of clothes and close the suitcase (but leave unzipped)
10. Follow similar Steps 7-9 for suitcase #2
11. Realise there is still a good portion of clothes and other items on your bed waiting to be packed
12. Sit on the first suitcase to compress the clothes within
13. Stand up and add more clothes to new space you have miraculously created
14. Follow similar procedure for suitcase #2
15. Lighter clothes and small items are the only thing left to be packed
16. You wouldn’t want to mash up this thing your bringing for your mummy, so repeat Steps 10-12
17. Add lighter items in the newly created void space of your bag
18. On your knees, lean on the top of the bag, pressing your forearms into the bag, avoiding fragile items
19. Zip up suitcase really quickly to avoid any rouge items from escaping
20. Repeat with suitcase #2
21. You lift suitcase #1 and come to the conclusion that it’s way over the 50 lbs weight limit
22. Unzip both suitcases and relocate some items into your carry-on bags
23. Repeat Steps 18-20
24. Grab with sides of your carry-on bag and zip the top closed
25. Place bag between knees and compress bag to bring zipper sides closer together
26. Attempt to close back in a clean, swift motion
27. Reverse back the zipper of caught on any item
28. Push said item in for zipper clearance and Go To Step 26

The only thing left is what you going to wear in the morning, but then you think of your toiletry bag that you need to use in the morning but haven’t packed yet. Cuss under your breath and walk around your place to make sure nothing else is missing.

The next morning you get to the airport and after waiting an hour in the check-in line the desk attendant informs you that one of your bags is overweight and suggests you move to the side and manipulate the contents to try and get both in the acceptable range. Now you gotta pull out the clothes you masterly packed in their the night before in front of all the other people waiting in line and they already vex ‘cause the line so long anyway. Then ya undies pop out into the open or your toothbrush falls on the floor and you suck ya teeth, snatch it up quick and resume your arduous task. Some have been known to take an extra bag with this scenario in mind. You even throw a couple extra things in your carry-on baggage.

After working on and off for fifteen minutes, you concede and zip the suitcases in a similar fashion to the previous night. You have to cut in line again to go back to the check-in desk to see if your bags are both underweight. Now you find the next bag is overweight now too and the check-in lady realises that no matter how you move the clothes around, one bag will be overweight. So she happily charges you overweight baggage fees.

Mudda Sik!

Advertisement